Worst Jokes Ever
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
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What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
Mo sal. F.
Bend over and spell run.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.