Worst Jokes Ever
What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?
The Hunger Games!
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.