Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
Worst Jokes Ever
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?
Two large plains.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"
"He never lands."
"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas!"
