Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
This is an a-maze-ing joke!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What's the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"