Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
What do you call frozen web?
A web-cicle.
Ass.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
What do you call a bar run by Gungans?
Jar Jar Drinks.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
Yo mama so fat, she is fat.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
