A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Biggest lie ever told: it was the cat.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
I don't think jokes are very funny.
What is this joke?
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
