Worst Jokes Ever
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
It davving on the eons, broski.
Daeveeonnnn.
Daveon...
Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
"Mhm... So you're gay?" -Darling
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.