Worst Jokes Ever
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a cat.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
His face.
Why is your nan gay? Because she's an orphan.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
Why can’t orphans play baseball/softball?
They never get to home!
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?