Worst Jokes Ever
I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?
What is a boyfriend?
What is the difference between a human and a magic house!?
A magic house 🏡 can fly, and a human can walk.
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF!"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
Bus went vrrrrrrrm.
Steel led to World War 2.