Worst Jokes Ever
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
What is Donald Trump's favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
For an orphan, any bag of chips is family size.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
pop pop meow?
You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.
Orphans are depressed, hahaha.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
Why do you joke about Helen Keller?
She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!
Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.