Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
