What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?
He forgot to adenine!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Africa.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "I'm." "I'm who?" "I'm a joke!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
