Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What runs but never stops?
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
What do you call dolls in a line?
Barbie queuing.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"