Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."

The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"

The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."

The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"

She says, "Vinegar and water."

Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.

Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

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  • Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?

    He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!

    Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.

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  • What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?

    "Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"