New Jokes - Page 179 - Worst Jokes Ever

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.

As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.

I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!