Worst Jokes Ever
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.
Hi, I did not get your email address. I sent you a...
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.