Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.

(She's blind and deaf)

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    • So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.

    And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

    I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

    What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

    Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)

    Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

    Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

    Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?

    What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

    CANCER!

    Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.

    I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

    A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."

    Wife is texting husband:

    "Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"

    Husband: "seilghsielguG"

    Wife: "Seriously, David?"

    Husband: "fuweyadb"

    Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

    My depression: hey, what's up!

    Me: go away.

    My depression: well how rude.

    Me: 🙄.

    My depression: remember that one time......

    Me: no, don't even.

    My depression: that we.....

    Me: nope.

    My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

    Me: 😳😶😟.

    My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

    A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

    Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

    Answer: 16