Worst Jokes Ever
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
Where do rabbits sleep?
In the junkyard outside.