ANAND
What did the orphan say to the other?
"Robin, get the Batmobile!"
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
How do gay guys finish prayer?
“GAYMEN!”
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Why can’t orphans buy ice cream?
They don’t have money.
Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.
Ok this is a texting joke this isnt my joke found it on google Mom:SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol Son:mom how is that funny?!?! i hope ur not laughing MOm:OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
