Worst Jokes Ever
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.