Worst Jokes Ever
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.
But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
My life, ha ha funny!
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
Add me on XBOX! Chalkyfrog11
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Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.
Older boy: UNO reverse card!
What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?
Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?