Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.

What did the bee say to the flower?

"Hey bud! When do you open?"

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef! (aka dinner)

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

Why is basketball such a messy sport?

'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!

Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.

My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!

When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"

Know (DYM 24).

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

BLM.

Biden Loves Bisexuality.

I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?

'Cause they were using fowl language!