Worst Jokes Ever

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.

Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.

Now we wait.

Have you seen the new movie Constipation?

You haven't?

That's because it hasn't come out yet.

Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!

Unknown: Okay!

Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!

Unknown whispering: Sexy!

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

Let's chat here, Prince.

"You must be why they invented the word ugly."

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.