Worst Jokes Ever

How do you call an American bee?

USB.

How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?

Marry her.

I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Old lady.

Old lady who?

I did not know you could yodel!

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"

Me: "Nope."

Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."

Me: "You never said \"love\"".

Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"

Me: "Frick no."

Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.

"You're fat as a cow."

"......."

"Nope."

What happened when the duck crossed the road?

It crossed the road.

What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!

Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.

I don't know.

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.

What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?

*waits 25 seconds*

"I lost my tractor!"

Agreed (DYM 127).

What do ants use when they're stinky?

Deodorant.

What egg do you buy an orphan?

Free range.

Trump plays Fortnite for walls.

He plays Fortnite just to build walls.

Trump, just why?