Worst Jokes Ever
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"
So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."
The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
The only joke here is the topic.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Roses are white, violets are white, everything is white. I’m racist.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.