Worst Jokes Ever

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.

Why can orphans watch PG movies?

Because it's "Parental Guidance."

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...

There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.

Don't trust atoms, people, they make up everything!

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Waiter: Can I have your order?

Me: No, it’s mine!

Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home plate is.

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.

You're gay if you see this.

A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."

Little Johnny stooped down to lick my balls and deep dick my throbbing knob.