Worst Jokes Ever
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Whatās the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I donāt have a Tesla in my garage.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic Peopleās Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And thatās no joke. š
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they have no home.
Normal people have a four-head, but bro... you got a fourteen-head.
Someone: Didnāt we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. Thatās why I donāt go there anymore.
Whatās the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
Why canāt an orphan play baseball? Because it canāt find home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.