What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."
Lick my balls.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.
Mommy kisses my butt.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
What's an orphan's most hated show?
The Fosters.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
