Worst Jokes Ever
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.
Brazil is a joke.
America and UK are a joke.
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.