God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
What's an orphan's least favorite theme song? The Barney theme song.
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.
I wasn't clean after this.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?
A, B, C you in hell.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
Fuck the Green Bay Packers!
