Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?

A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

Judge: But why?

Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

  • 1
  • I’m rather relaxed about death.

    From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.