Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can’t hit a home run.
Deez
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...