So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
(Answer) Ground beef.
Sorry for a bad joke.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I threw a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut for me.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
Orphans must hate 2020 because you need a home to homeschool.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
The "f" in orphan stands for family.... wait a minute!
