Worst Jokes Ever
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Who's an orphan?
You are.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?
Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Your momma! OHHHHH!
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.