An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
Worst Jokes Ever
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
