A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.
You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
They need a parent signature.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
