Worst Jokes Ever
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."
Roddy Rick Dalby
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call an adopted orphan?
Wanted.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
What do Afghanistan people love about bombs?
They're black and go off.
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.