Worst Jokes Ever

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Who left him hanging?

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

Why was the emo jealous of the orange?

It came precut.

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

I was about to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was too plane.

They made a movie about 9/11.

It was a big hit.

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.