Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.
What did one tower say to the other?
Damn, you looking PLANE!
Open wide, here comes the airplane!
Me: I know a good 9/11 joke, but it would probably go over your head.
The Twin Towers: No, it won’t.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
Mama milky?
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
*Enter password*
"ScoobyDoo"
"Password must contain special character."
"ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman"
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.
F in orphan means family.
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!