First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
Worst Jokes Ever
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
You're just big and good.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Now their owner is dying.
HAHAHAHA
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
