Worst Jokes Ever
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
Q: Why is America bad at chess?
A: Because they already lost two towers.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.