Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who’s going to homeschool them?
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was spider man no way home
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK
What is an orphans favorite movie?
“Spider-Man Homecoming”
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns? He/heeeeeee.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
Can a person in a wheelchair stand up for themselves?
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
EXERCISE?
i thought you said "Extra Fries"
-a minion (you may now laugh)
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
Top G advice: You’re either a smart fella or a fart smella.
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
