My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.
My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
