Worst Jokes Ever

Why would a cannibal stop eating people?

If they got fed up with them.

What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?

Jack in a box.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Can emo kids get a happy birthday?

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Try not to <3.

"My name is Dezz."

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party?

Yo mama so fat.

In Super Mario Galaxy, she was a fucking planet!

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.

Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?

To see his closest relatives.

What do you call a disabled kid on fire?

Hot wheels.

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.