I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
Worst Jokes Ever
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
My friend said my life was a joke.
No jokes have meaning.
I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.
What's a flat-chested emo called?
A cutting board.
What's an orphan family photo called?
Selfie.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
What's the difference between bounties and orphans?
The bounty is wanted.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
