Worst Jokes Ever
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
POV: Her name is Alli.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.