Worst Jokes Ever
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
What does Michael Jackson like to carry around? A little ball sack.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What does an orphan call a family photo taking a selfie?
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."