Worst Jokes Ever
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.