What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Make like your hairline and scram!
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
But when?
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?
You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Cos every time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
