Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
No, no, no, I am cool.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Funniest Roblox Names I've heard:
ButtNugget123
Lil_RAT (user is actually Sillyowlbunny200)
baddasscarrot44
EggnogRat44
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."