Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Never Jokes
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
