Need jokes

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

frshfry we need to talk now!

I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.

Where's freshfry when I need him? :(

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.

Why did the orphan go to church?

Because they need a father.

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?

In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!

I would create an orphan website...

But you need a home page to do that.

(Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷‍♀️

Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.

Prince, please talk to me for real...

Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.

Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.

Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.

Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!

Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.

Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.

Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.

Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.

Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.