Name jokes

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

What would you name a mummified squirrel?

Perhaps... Mumford?

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!

Aaron.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Perrie.

I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.

Josh

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!

Do you know Candice?

Candice dick fit in your mouth!

I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.

Poopoo man.

Person one: What did the DJ name his son?

Person two: IDK, what?

Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.