Name jokes

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

Bob the builder.

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

There is a dark alley. Who do you call?

Batman.

I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?

Hi, my name isn't Pi.

Look up at the sky and wonder why.

Why are you alive?

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."

So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. Their names were Johony and Papa.

All of the sudden, Johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”

ふべrt Hubert Wonk Don DingT ding

Braken Rodrgrigous?

How do stars get their name?

By a black hole because it's sueeeee!

What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?

An H2hoe.

"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

My name is Ya.

Ya who?

Yahooooo!!!

Hi, my name's Dixy.

Dixy Normis.