Name jokes
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
Sam from Bow.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
"Cummy Beynis. Hahaha?"
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you name a family reunion of an orphan?
"Me time."
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.