When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
