Nail

Nail jokes

I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?

When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.

A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?

... A boner.

I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?

A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.